Do you ever get in your own way?
Or does everyone else get in your way?
A little of both, maybe?
Recently I had some plans, kind of long-term stuff I’d been working on, working toward. Then a few things started to hinder those plans. Scheduling conflicts, the pending holidays, sleep, laundry, work, life.
Then, in the midst of all these interruptions in making my plans happen, MSH had some ideas he’d been thinking about that would involve me and my time. I’m not talking an afternoon or an evening. We’re talking big plans that would use a significant amount of time and effort.
Sure, I could see the wisdom in his plan. I could admit that it wouldn’t be a waste of time to commit to doing this work he was proposing. But where would the time and energy to do this come from? When you add one thing to the calendar then something has to come off the calendar or get moved to another spot.
Surprisingly, writing in one more item on the TO-DO list does not create the extra time it will take.
My gut reaction was that my project, my plans and my life would suffer because of this new extra-large to-do item on my unending list.
The next morning, I whined and complained to my walking partner, logically expecting sympathy. Her response was not what I had anticipated. She asked if I had any fears associated with my own plans.
Fear of failure, fear of being laughed at, fear of looking silly or stupid, fear of hurting someone, fear of saying or doing the wrong thing, fear of falling on my face.
Yeah, you could say I have a few fears about my plans.
While we walked she suggested gently, with kindness, that perhaps, there is a possibility, just maybe, I could consider the idea that, I was sabotaging myself.
A Shocking Thought
This wise woman posited not that MSH is trying to get in my way, or hinder me, but that I’m using his idea, turning it and tweaking it, until it becomes my excuse for not proceeding with my own plans, not succeeding, not facing my fears.
The truth can sting a little. And this one did.
Now, what am I going to do about it?
- Sabotage (seayoga.wordpress.com)