Mason Jars Filled with Do Overs

“If I could save time in a bottle, the first thing that I’d like to do, is to save every day ’til eternity passes away just to spend them with you.”

– Jim Croce

MSH thinks going back in time and reliving his life sounds wonderful.  Many people I’ve asked agree with him. Give them a second chance at life, they’d take it!

Me? No, thank you! End of discussion. No way.

Well, one way, maybe.  If I could remember everything from my first time through, then sure, I’d be willing to face my childhood, puberty, early marriage, and every other stage of my life with confidence.  But without my memories, my hard-earned learning curve intact, there’s no way I’d have a do over.

Too many regrets, that’s why.

A Kerr mason jar

A Kerr mason jar (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

For instance. Instead of letting my eighteen month old son cry himself to sleep laying next to his bedroom door, I’d let him fall asleep snuggled in my arms on the couch every single night until he decided he preferred his bed.  Call me foolish.  I don’t care. I can still see his little tear streaked sleeping face peeking out under the gap between the floor and the door.

I’d have bought those Wizard of Oz sparkly red shoes for my youngest. I wouldn’t have put off getting that sailor dress my daughter wanted. I would have asked more questions, assumed less, pried more, talked directly, been less afraid.

Instead of anxiously awaiting the day my kids would start school I’d clean the house less and play with them more.

My own teenage years were a horror story of stupid decisions, bad behavior, rebellion and embarrassment.  I’d just completely remake myself.  I’d be friendly and outgoing instead of trembling and introverted.  I’d care less about what everyone else thought about me and wonder more about how they felt and how I could help. I’d complain less to my mom and help out more.  No, really, I would.  I’d soak in every moment of being young and healthy and energetic.  I’d run with more abandon, sing louder, laugh longer, smile more often, tell jokes, be nicer to my sisters and tell my brothers that I thought they were cool.

If I could have time in a bottle…pretty much everything that happened from day one until now would be different.  I’d be different.  In fact, I wouldn’t even be me anymore, would I?

That’s a scary thought. A hopeful thought. A weird thought.

I wouldn’t change a thing.

Or I’d change everything.

After harvest - jars of glass filled with honey

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

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Categories: Wondering | Tags: , , , , , , , | 10 Comments

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10 thoughts on “Mason Jars Filled with Do Overs

  1. Amen.

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  2. 🙂

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  3. I’d do so many things differently if I could start over, too. And just to save my son, I’d be willing! Great blog. I might have to write about that same thing some day.

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  4. I followed you here because I liked your comment on the “Blogroll” post today. Glad I did! Your blog is a wonderful place to visit. And this particular post…rings true in so many ways.
    Greetings from Maryland
    Melanie

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  5. Glad to have you along for the ride, Melanie. Looking forward to watching your posts as well.

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  6. This was magical. Not to marr the beauty of your post, but I think one of the reasons it resonated so true with me was because it felt like my words, my thoughts. You nailed the inside of my head. Of course I’m going to think it was brilliant. (reality assures me I am not, but I think you get my point: you struck a chord).
    Thank you, Kami, for reminding me also, that it’s not too late to change gears NOW.
    I wish you gratitude and no regrets from here on forward!

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  7. I enjoyed this post. We would be different people wouldn’t we and so perhaps that’s why we shouldn’t beat ourselves up over the things that we’ve done. It’s what we did. The best to hope for I think would be to move into the future just doing things differently 🙂

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