Looking Back Instead of Forward

It’s Gratituesday! Today I’m grateful that the past is behind me. I’m glad to look back and glean what lessons I can from the life I’ve experienced thus far. There’s some doozies. There’s more than a few embarrassing if not downright shameful tales. There’s some hold my head  high “I done good” moments. Mostly, there’s me slogging through, mud stained, sweaty, not very pretty, grimacing, trying to smile, just trying to “get ‘er done.”

English: Muddy Hit

I’m not one of those people who would want to know what’s on the agenda for the future. I think I’d run screaming off the edge of the planet if I knew what’s coming.

Oh, sure, I’m certain there’s some happy times ahead. I’ve great faith in the goodness of many people. The technologic expansion and promise bodes well. But I’m a realist and I know not all is well and not all will be well. There’s crap out there among the good stuff. Always has been, always will be.

Looking back at what I’ve experienced over the past few decades I’m pretty certain that if given the choice ahead of time, with a clear view of those particular things laid out before me, I’d have probably declined the offer to move ahead.

Sure, youth think they are invincible. They envision the future as glorious and beautiful, hopeful and amazing. The don’t imagine failure, or trial or difficulty. There’s a vague cloud of the unknown but no real grasp of what death or disease, unemployment or uncertainty, debt and demands, sleeplessness and exhaustion, mental illness and poor decisions, good intentions with bad outcomes, or any one of thousands of reality’s hard knocks. It’s probably best that way.

Being jaded and angry is no way to approach a life at the beginning of it.

In fact, being jaded and angry is no way to live a life at all.

I had a year or two of that and it was not pretty.

Now I aim for grateful as much as I can. I try being honest with myself and not simply look at the world through those fabled rose-colored glasses. I honestly search for the good, the positive, the blessed moments, the glorious parts of life.

Syringe 5 with drops.

It’s not a denial of the bad stuff, more of an inoculation against it. I like to think I’m vaccinated and up to date on my shots so when the virus of hardship invades, which it surely will, I’ll be able to get through it. My faith, my hope, my cheerfulness, my experience,  will win out.

Better to learn from what’s thrown at you. Knowing when to duck, when to roll, when to tuck, when to jump, when to charge ahead, only comes from the experience of having to do those things. Practice makes perfect, is the saying, isn’t it?

I should be nearly perfect by now.

No. Never mind. I didn’t say that. I know there’s a ton of experiences in life I haven’t had the pleasure or pain of going through. I don’t want to tempt fate. Got my hands full, thankyouverymuch.

Today I’m glad to stand where I am, looking back on the path I’ve been on, happy for the temporary level spot in the path.

What a view!

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Categories: Gratitude, Gratituesday | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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