Is It Just Me?

Is it just me or have things gotten a bit foggy?

Fog

Maybe I’m not getting enough sleep, but I don’t think that’s it. I just seem slightly off kilter, kind of how you feel during those first few stumbling minutes after extricating yourself from the tangle of sheets and the magnetism of the pillow. Except I’m that way all day long.

In fact, my personal dialog after regaining some form of consciousness in the morning usually goes something like this:

“Can I work a nap into my day? How soon? Can it start now? Maybe I can call in sick today? Is there anything in my life more important than sleep?”

Even after a shower and all the getting ready for the day, including fluffing my hair and getting my game face on, I just want to fall face first into the pillow and pass out.

I don’t think I can blame it on a seasonal change thing, or a time change thing, because A) we don’t do the time zone change thing here in Arizona and B) it’s now the glorious weather season when being outdoors isn’t toxic to our health. If anything I’m getting outdoors more now than in the past eight months.

The days are shorter, I’ll grant you that. Sunrise at 6:40ish and sunset at 5:30ish. That’s ony eleven hours, less than half a day of full on sunshine. And I’m not a fan of darkness. Not a fan at all. I sleep with at least four lights on in the house, that’s how much a fan I’m not.

A Charlie Brown Christmas

Maybe it’s the onslaught of the shopping season. Notice I didn’t say Holidays, or site any other holiday at all. I walked into several stores yesterday and found myself immediately and definitively assaulted by REDandGREENandSPARKLEandCINNAMONandHOLIDAYMUSIC. For Pete’s sake it’s only November! I felt like Charlie Brown walking past Snoopy’s dog house decked out in ridiculous, nonsensical outlandish overkill.

“Oh, brother,” I said, shaking my head and leaving the store as quickly as possible. I did not want to shop, I did not want to find a sale, I did not want to spend my money there. I know, you think I’m a Scrooge. Maybe I am. Bah.

But I don’t think that explains the foggy brain either.

Yes, the month is busy, but it’s a happy busy.

Maybe it’s a good thing I’m taking a much needed, but very rare, break this weekend. Yup, I’m getting my vacation on. Living la vida loca!  Becoming a wild woman.

Well, probably not all that wild. If you define wild as going for a hike, walking the rocky shore of a lake, sitting on the patio watching the sunset, simmering in a hot tub watching the steam rise into the below freezing air, then yeah, I’ll be a wild woman. Maybe I’ll return all “bright-eyed and bushy-tailed” as my Dad used to say.

Hammock - Polynesia.

If that doesn’t do the trick at lifting this fog then I’m in deep trouble.

Maybe I should just give in to that siren call of a nap. What harm could twenty or thirty minutes do? It’d probably be just what I need. Maybe it’s as simple as that.

I think I’ll book myself a little trip to dreamland and see what happens.

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Categories: Mental Health, Wondering | Tags: , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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