Day two for Mom at the hospital.
Thanks to my siblings for keeping me up to date through phone calls, texts, photos and emails, it’s almost like being there. This afternoon she has been extubated, is moving her legs and arms and can speak one or two words at a time. All good signs after having suffered a subdural hematoma and the surgery to relieve the bleeding and pressure. We are cautiously very optimistic!
So, for a little tension relief, I’ve looked up some jokes from Reader’s Digest to share with the family. We could all use a little laughter right now. Enjoy!
A fellow walked into a drugstore and headed to the back to speak to the pharmacist. “Do you have anything for hiccups?” he asked. Without warning, the pharmacist reached over and gave the man a sharp smack on the shoulder. “Did that help?” he inquired. ”I don’t know,” the startled man replied. “I’ll have to ask my wife. She’s waiting in the car.”
Hospital regulations require a wheelchair for patients being discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet—who insisted he didn’t need my help to leave the hospital. After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator.
On the way down I asked if his wife was meeting him. “I don’t know,” he said. “She’s still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown.”
“If you had two dollars in one pocket and three dollars in the other pock-et,” the teacher asked a little boy in her class, “what would you have?”
“I’d have someone else’s pants,” the boy answered.
Second Grader Wisdom
During a science lesson, my sister-in-law picked up a magnet and said to her second-grade class, “My name begins with the letter M, and I pick things up. What am I?” A little boy answered, “You’re a mommy.” —Robert Boyer, Marion, Indiana
A harried man runs into his physician’s office. “Doctor! Doctor! My wife’s in labor! But she keeps screaming, ‘Shouldn’t, couldn’t, wouldn’t, can’t!’”
“Oh, that’s okay,” says the doctor. “She’s just having contractions.”
As I was admitted to the hospital prior to a procedure, the clerk asked for my wrist, saying, “I’m going to give you a bracelet.”
“Has it got rubies and diamonds?” I asked coyly.
“No,” he said. “But it costs just as much.”
Having Mom showing signs of improvement: priceless!