Posts Tagged With: soul searching

Excerpt From An Old Journal Entry

I am a thousand thoughts racing feverishly around in a brain filled with too many lists, too many clocks, too many people, too little time.  A startled face appears when I look into a mirror and realize the person whose blue eyes look back at me looks nothing like the person running around in my head.

I think to myself, “Who are you and why are you looking at me like that?”

I am awash in wanting to make tangible all the racing thoughts, the flowing seeds of ideas, the recipes of change and reordering. I am often lost in a field of wanting to create and tangled in a sea of half-begun.  Everything around me is a partially completed creation.

I am a procrastinator extraordinaire. I am afraid.  I am committed to noncomittment.  I hide behind all the thinking and not doing and am not merely hidden from others, but lost to myself.

“I am trying,”  I tell the person looking back at me from the mirror, “someday all this trying will come to something.”

Then the person in the mirror asks, “Come to what?”

I answer with silence.

I have reached the age where it seems incomprehensible that I am still attempting to answer this question of who I am.

Shouldn’t I have more answers by now?  Shouldn’t I have a book or two filled with answers?

Should I still keep asking the questions?

Categories: Writing | Tags: , , , | 2 Comments

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